Chapter 7: Family Tree

When you hear them saying "Trust me"
Don't wait to see what's next
Thrown to the wolves
Forever trusting
Raised in a form of living hell
Sing a one note song of rage
live and die within your heart
So beware in the shadows

‘Family Tree’ by Megadeth




Alice didn’t notice our serious faces. She handed me a bag she held and I frowned at it.

“Why are you giving me this?” Her bright eyes sparkled and it made my frown deepen. “Alice,” I groaned. “What did you do?”

“I may have bought that skirt for you,” Alice said sheepishly.

“Alice!” I groaned, ignoring the stares of passer-bys. She rolled her eyes at me.

“Bella, grow up. You looked fantastic. It’s going to kill Edward.” She giggled slightly.

“Did you talk to her, Rose?” Alice asked. Wait a sec, they had planned that? And here I thought Rosalie was just being nice. Did she even mean what she said?

“Sort of, Alice. I didn’t get to the juicy bit though!” Rose exclaimed. Juicy? I thought. That can’t be good.

“Juicy?” I asked timidly. Alice laughed darkly.

“Oh, you just wait, innocent little Bella. Now come on! We need to get you something to wear! And I know exactly where to go.” Rosalie jumped about excitedly.

“Yay!” she squealed. “I love this shop.” Rosalie grabbed one of my arms and Alice grabbed the other. I was pulled along the mall, practically running to keep up with them. We came around the corner and was met with a bright, yellow, neon glowing sign. It read ‘SHIRTLESS’. I froze as I looked at the crop tops and see-through shirts in the window.

“No way,” I told them.

“But Bella, this is the place to get your club clothes. And there is a more conservative section. Please Bella?” She looked at me, pouting, with wide round eyes. I groaned.

“Fine! I’ll go in. I’m not saying I’ll try anything on though,” I warned them. They both nodded hard and fast, obviously desperate to get me into the shop. I must have a death wish, I thought wryly.

They ran forward eagerly and I followed reluctantly after checking that no one was watching me enter. Just breathe Bella, it can’t get any worse.

I walked in and was met face to face with a very gay man. He was wearing tight, gold sequined shorts and a purple shirt. He had on red, pointy cowboy boots. I blushed as scarlet as his boots and looked around him to see Rosalie and Alice struggling to keep from laughing.

“Can I help you at all, pretty lady?” he asked in a nasal voice. And then he slapped my ass. My body convulsed and my breathing quickened, despite knowing he wouldn’t hurt me. He looked down at my breasts. I flinched away from him, but he wouldn’t stop staring.

“We need to get you into something a bit more tight and revealing, honey,” he said in the same nasal voice that burst my eardrums. And then it happened in slow motion. I saw his hands move upwards and he pushed my breasts together and up. I couldn’t stop him. I gasped and my body convulsed again.

“What are you doing?” I managed to say, hissing.

“You have great boobs, honey. We just need to get them out!” He squeezed them harder and my hand moved forward and hit him across his face, a loud slap echoing around the store. When I drew my hand away, there were 5 red marks on his face, searing into his cheek. He gaped at me.

“Why did you slap me, lady?” he asked, indignantly.

“I didn’t slap you,” I hissed. “I high-fived your face.” I said this more confidently than I felt. Inside, the little girl was crying out, wanting to be comforted. The tears started when I walked away, silently running down my cheeks. I made my way to Alice and Rosalie who were looking at me in shock, having abruptly stopped laughing.

“Alice just choose me something, I want to go home,” I said quietly, looking at the dark floor. I sniffed and wiped away the ears from my face but more just fell.

“I’ll take her to the car,” I heard Rosalie say. Alice passed Rosalie the keys and we both hurried out of the shop. We walked in silence to the car. Occasionally, I saw Rosalie half lift her hand, as if to wrap her arm around me but she would always drop it. We both climbed into the back seat of Alice’s car and it was then that she started to speak.

“Bella?” she asked nervously. Rosalie was never nervous. She was the most confident person I knew.

“Bella, honey? Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” The tears fell down my face slightly faster. I wanted more than anything to tell her what was wrong. How could I tell her that it had reminded me of my past? How could I explain everything? I couldn’t. He would kill me, I knew he would. I shook my head, my brown hair slapping against my cheeks.

“I...I...c...can’t,” I sobbed. My voice broke on the word ‘can’t.’ Someone please help me, I pleaded inside my head. Rosalie frowned at me, her worry line creasing on her forehead.

“Bella, we can help you,” she told me, her face serious and her eyes laced with concern. She was wrong though. No one could help me. I shook my head at her. Before she could say anything else, Alice climbed into the car. She was breathing heavily and her cheeks were slightly red as if she’d been running. She threw a bag in the back next to Rosalie and I.

“Bella, what happened?” she asked, noting my still tear-streaked face. I couldn’t reply. Rosalie and Alice exchanged a look.

“Let’s get you home, Bella,” Rosalie said, squeezing my shoulder before climbing into the front next to Alice. I closed my eyes and surrender to the blackness. I could hear Alice and Rosalie whispering to each other up front.

“And she wouldn’t tell you?” I heard Alice say.

“No, not wouldn’t. Couldn’t.” There was silence for a couple of minutes as Alice started the car.

“I called Edward,” she said. Rosalie sighed loudly.

“I think he loves her Alice. Have you seen him? And the way he was with Mike? It’s going to kill him to see her like this.” Alice made a noise of agreement.

“Do you think she’s told him anything?” There was another silence as the car purred its way through the journey.

“No, I don’t think so. She can’t tell him either.”

Something happened then. My whole body seemed to blank out and was consumed by the never-ending darkness. I couldn’t hear anything. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t do that either. My arms wouldn’t move and now words couldn’t come out my mouth. My breath quickened as the black overtook my world. Suddenly, they were there. Both of them. They were walking towards me and my body started shaking, shuddering wildly. I struggled to break free from this nightmare but my arms pulled against something. I looked down and saw ties against my arms and legs, keeping me from moving anywhere. I was panicking and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

I looked up again and they were both standing above me. I don’t know which one of them hit me first but pain suddenly exploded in a colourful burst of light. The pain in my ribs intensified and then my mouth could move again. I didn’t say anything. Instead, all that came out was a cold, high shriek. The nail-biting sound continued as the sharp jolts of pain continued. Then the pain moved to my face. One loud crack followed another. My vision clouded deep red as the blood ran over my eyes. I could taste the blood in my throat and I coughed, seeing the colour splatter against my legs. I could feel someone’s nails scratching against my skin, tearing into it.

“Alice, for fucks sake, hurry up,” I heard someone growl and strong pressure was applied to my arms. The pain once again moved to my ribs and I spluttered, coughing up more redness as my body was beaten and again and again until I just lay there, flopping around like a rag doll. The unnatural screams coming from my body intensified when I saw James looking at me with the glint he had in his eyes that night. He leered at me and I struggled harder against what was holding me back. I felt the pressure decrease and the pain in my arms was back, the nails digging deep into my arms and scouring over them. I felt James lift his hand up to my breast and squeeze it tight. I let out one continuous scream. It lasted forever. I didn’t stop to breathe. I just had to get away from him.

“Bella! Oh my god, Bella! Fuck it! Bella, sweetheart. Bella, listen to me, it’s Edward. Fuck, Bella, open your eyes.” An angel’s voice came from afar and I stopped my screams, the picture in front of me fading a little. James seemed to get further away from me. I felt arms wrap around me and I could smell something delicious, not too far away from me.

“Carlisle, fuck, what do I do? She’s a mess. Fucking hell, Carlisle, help her! Bella, love, please! Open your eyes.” I felt warm hands caress my face and I sighed softly. “Bella, oh god, Bella. Fuck, look at her arms. Oh Christ, Bella, please!” The angel’s voice broke on the last word and I frowned in my haze. I couldn’t make the angel upset. I forced my eyes open, struggling to raise my lids but managing in the end. A beautiful face was hovering over me, his eyes filled with unfallen tears and his face looking as if he’d been tortured. His body seemed to collapse in relief. It was only now that my angel started sobbing.

“Bella, Bella, Bella,” he crooned. I sat up, wincing as I did and threw my arms around him, my own sobs starting up again.

“Edward,” I said, my face buried in his neck. His arms were tight around me and I cried in relief at him being here. My angel. He had saved me again.

“Oh god, Bella. What happened?” he whispered. I moved back to look at his face and wiped away the tears that lined his beautiful face like the scars that lined my arms.

“They were there again. Only this time, it was worse. I couldn’t focus on anything else. I couldn’t move. Edward, I couldn’t do anything!” I threw my arms back around him and he hugged me again, his hands rubbing against my back soothingly.

“Oh my poor, poor, Bella.”

“Ah, Edward?” another voice said. Edward’s head shot up and he let go of me. I turned to see Carlisle standing there.

“Bella, I’m afraid I need to clean you up a bit.”

“Clean me up?” He nodded and glanced at my arms. I looked down at them and saw deep, red gashes along them, blood still oozing from a couple them. I gasped in disbelief.

“What happened to me?” Carlisle looked at me seriously.

“You did this to yourself, Bella.” I did what? My eyebrows creased. “I’ll explain later, Bella.” He moved forward and then I glanced down again. My eyes widened in realization. My scars. He would see them.

“No!” I said and jumped up from where I sat. I ran towards the door but strong arms wrapped around my waist. I sobbed again as Edward turned me round to face him.

“No, Edward, no! I can’t! You know that!” I hit his chest weakly in surrender. This was it. The beginning of the end. He lowered his head to my ear.

“Bella, I’ll clean you up. Don’t worry. Please don’t cry, beautiful.” He looked over at Carlisle who nodded strangely and handed Edward a pack of antiseptic wipes. He also gave him some antiseptic cream and a couple of bandages.

“I’ll leave,” he told me. As he walked out of the room, Edward turned back to me and set the things on the table. He then pulled me towards him and lifted me up until I was sitting on the table.

“May I?” he asked politely and I nodded and blushed, looking down at the floor. Edward’s hands ghosted over my abdomen and his fingers slipped under my top, feeling my skin for the first time. My breathing grew quick. Help! I thought. We hadn’t even kissed and I was acting like a freak in front of him. Who even said we were going to kiss?

His hands grabbed the top of my top and he pulled it up over my head. I heard him gasp slightly, and then a quiet growl slipped from his throat. I looked down at my chest and saw little purple bruises dotting across my stomach. My arms looked like they’d been gouged at with claws. My cut from yesterday was still tender and the bruising still surrounded it in all its blue glory.

“Fuck, Bella.” He reached across and pulled out a cloth. He started rubbing it over my left arm so gently I could barely feel it.

“Does that hurt?” he asked softly. I raised my face to his and found him staring at me intently, his eyes still filled with the un-fallen tears. I shook my head.

“It’s fine.” My voice was still hoarse after my breakdown. What was wrong with me? I let out a breath quickly and I closed my eyes tight for a moment.

“Bella, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” My eyes flickered open and saw him gazing at me still, his eyes dark.

“Edward, what’s wrong with me?” I breathed out, my voice breaking. In a second, I was in his arms again and he was rubbing my back soothingly.

“Bella, nothing is wrong with you, sweetheart.” I half snorted, half cried at his response.

“Edward, you can’t fool me. I see the way everyone looks at me. I know that I’m different. A freak.”

“Oh god, Bella. You are anything but a freak. You are a gorgeous, amazing person, who’s had a hard life. There is nothing wrong with you! You may have some sort of illness, but Bella, you are not a freak. You are different in such a brilliant way. Everyone here cares for you so much. We just want to help you, my beautiful Bella.” I sniffed and he wiped my tears away, his cool fingers feeling good against my skin. Unconsciously, I leaned into his hand and he smiled. I felt my cheeks heat up in response and he chuckled.

“There’s my girl.”

I cracked a small smile and he grinned at me, his whole face lighting up. He looked back at my arms and he picked up the bandages, wrapping the line of cloth around my forearm. His fingers pressed down lightly on my arm. I could see he was trying hard not to hurt me any further.

“How are your ribs?” he asked, when he had finished. He ran his fingers lightly over my bruises and he frowned at them.

“They’re okay,” I whispered. He looked up at me through his lashes, his eyes a fantastic shade of green. He leaned forward slowly, keeping his eyes on mine. And then he pressed his lips against my skin. He trailed his mouth along every one of the bruises that marked my pale skin. My breaths were ragged and they came in short, sharp gasps.

“I wish I could make it better,” he sighed against my skin, refusing to move his lips from my abdomen.

“You do,” I told him. He raised his head.

“Oh, Bella, you are so...perfect.” He reluctantly dragged his lips away from me and helped me put my top back on. I once again felt safe behind the dark black of my top. He helped me off the tabl top and I winced slightly as I moved my body. His beautiful face darkened again and I heard him mutter under his breath, something I wasn’t meant to hear.

“I will kill whoever hurt you.” I looked down in embarrassment and saw his hands, clenched into tight fists. I reached out and brushed my fingers along his knuckles and they relaxed reflexively.

“Bella, I suspect Carlisle will be wanting to speak to you.” I inhaled sharply and shook my head frantically at him.

“Edward! I c...can’t! I can’t tell him! I can’t tell you! I can’t ever! Never, Edward!” I shook again, my body shuddering with silent sobs. He reached out to touch my face and bring it up to look at his eyes.

“Why can’t you tell us, Bella? Why?” I shook my head again. I couldn’t. He would kill me. He would kill Edward. He would kill everyone I wanted.

“Bella, please. You can tell me. Why can’t you say anything?” I stared deep into his eyes. They bored into me, eating away at my heart and stealing another piece of me. Except this, I wanted to give to him. This was Edward. I could trust him. I would not let them hurt him.

“Bella,” he urged, running his hand along my neck. I took a deep breath and let it out.

“Because they’ll kill me.”

*****

EPOV


The words Bella uttered shot through me like the sharpest arrows. No wonder she couldn’t say. They’d threatened to kill her. But who were they? When I knew who they were, they would wish they had never fucked with Bella. I would fucking tear them apart.

I stood with my arms around her. How could I protect this beautiful creature? She was a threat to herself. How could I save her when she couldn’t tell me what to save her from? I needed to speak to Carlisle.

“Bella? Let me go out and talk to Carlisle. I’ll ask him not to question you just yet. You stay here and then I’ll come back and we’ll go to my room.” She nodded her head and backed away from me, slumping into a chair, completely exhausted after her revelation to me. I quickly made my way out of the room and was met by a number of people wearing holes in the floor.

“Edward! Is she okay?” Alice jumped into my space, her voice raised slightly.

“Shhh,” I warned her. “Look, I need to speak to Carlisle. Could you please go in and keep her company? Distract her with something else.” I walked off, not bothering to wait for Alice to reply. I made my way straight to Elizabeth’s office where I knew all of them would be gathered. I didn’t knock but strode straight in. I interrupted whatever my father was saying.

“Carlisle, Esme? Could I please speak to you? In private?” I added. Esme glanced at my worried face and nodded immediately, standing up and walking towards me quickly. She pulled me out of the room and Carlisle shut the door behind us. We were in the hallway now and I looked up and down the corridor before starting to speak.

“Bella just told me something. I told her that you might want to talk to her and she started freaking out again. She was fucking hyperventilating and was screaming at me that she couldn’t speak to you. That she couldn’t tell you, couldn’t tell me what was wrong. I asked her why. She said...she...she said because they would kill her.” I hung my head and before I knew it, I had raised my hand and there was a loud smash as my hand came into contact with the plastered walls. Carlisle grabbed my wrist and flung me back.

“Edward, that is not going to help.” I growled at him.

“I am going to kill them, when I meet whoever hurt her. I swear to fucking God. I. Will. Kill. Them.” Carlisle stared at me, his eyes once again filled with confusion and that same unknown emotion that he had shown back in the medical room.

“Edward, please just calm down. We will help her. But before we can do anything, we need to find out what happened to her. Get her to tell you.”

“Fuck. Off. I am not fucking with Bella for you. She is worth more to me that a half ditch attempt to get information for you. I will not force her to do anything.” He sighed at me.

“I am not saying to force her. That did not come out right. I meant, you could be with her if you want. Just please, if she tells you anything, tell one of us. We need to be able to help her.” My eyes widened enormously at Carlisle’s words.

“We can...be together? Properly?” Bella and I? Me and Bella? Though I suppose, I would have been with her even if Carlisle didn’t give his fucking blessing.

“Thank you,” I said sincerely. It was probably the only decent thing I had said to him in over 6 months. “And I’ll tell you, but only if she wants me to. I will not go against her wishes. I can’t do that to her. She trusts me.” He considered this before nodding.

“Fine.” I started to leave but Carlisle grabbed hold of my arm again. “But, Edward, find out soon. I don’t know how much more her body can endure.” I nodded once and then moved off, desperate to get back to Bella. I opened the door of the room she occupied and saw Alice hastily stuff something back in a bag.

“Alice, what are you doing?”

She smiled sweetly at me, “Nothing to worry about Edward. Just wear loose trousers on Friday night.” She winked at me and then left the room. Rose giggled and followed after her. My eyebrows rose after them and I heard Bella give a light laugh. I spun round to face her, my smile big enough to light a room. Bella had laughed. I bounced over to her and picked her up, though being carful of her bruises, and spun around the room with her in my arms. She laughed freely at my over reaction and her eyes lit up when she looked at me. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw her. Her bright, hazelnut eyes were both the bane of my existence, and my reason for living.

“Come on, beautiful.” I pulled her out the door and she danced lightly after me, seeming to fly across the floor. For once, she wasn’t the clumsy, nervous girl that had arrived two days earlier; she was graceful and happy and confident.

I led her up the stairs and opened the door to my room. She stepped inside and looked around, confused.

“Yeah, this is my room,” I said nervously. It was kind of weird. I had a lot of music and a giant punch bag in the middle of the room. She walked over to the punching bag and I tried not to laugh as she ran her fingers along it, her brow furrowed.

“I see you like Jacob then.”


BPOV


What? Did he say Jacob? He had named it?

“You’ve named it?” I asked disbelievingly. It was a punch bag. How could he name it? He chuckled at me and nodded.

“Guys name everything.” Everything? Did that mean he’s named his....? I blushed and turned back around. The punch bag was right in front of me and I stumbled backwards so as not to walk straight into it. I studied it again, my brow crinkled. I couldn’t get the image of Edward in front of it out of my head. I couldn’t imagine how sexy he would look. The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.

“Can I watch you?” He looked stunned and then his mouth slowly lifted into a huge grin.

“Watch me, Bella?” I blushed and walked over to his dresser, looking at the pictures he had on it.

“Bella?” he asked questionably, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, leaning his head on my shoulder. I refused to answer but instead pretended to be absorbed by a picture of him and Alice that was there. I picked up and traced over his face. It must have only been taking a year or so ago. He looked similar to himself now. His hair was still in the usual disarray of sexiness. Before I could examine it any more, he had plucked it out of my hands and was leading me to the bed. He sat me and down and pushed me backwards until I was leaning against the headboard. I frowned at him.

“What are you doing?” I asked. He smiled crookedly at me, making my heart leap.

“I’m giving you a show, Bella,” he said innocently. My eyes widened as he walked over to his music player and a song came thumping out of the stereo. My jaw dropped when I heard what was playing, Methods of Mayhems “Get Naked”. Crap. I could feel the heat intensify in my cheeks as the first lyrics busted out.

Seventy seven million dollars made
From watchin’ me cum under the sun
Under my vacation.

I was finding it hard to swallow and he just stared at me, smirking his stupid face off. My already wide eyes grew even wider when his hands reached down and pulled off his t-shirt. I objected, but it was already off. My mind exploded in a wonderful array of disorder. I tried to make a sound but my mouth was frozen. Edward was a god. His hard abs were clear in the bright light of his room and I gripped tight onto the bed, trying to stop myself from reaching out to him. I swallowed loudly, unused to this reaction inside me. It was so different to anything I’d ever felt.

He walked over to a door and pulled out a pair of boxing gloves, slipping them on before walking back over to the punch bag. Just in time for the chorus.

Cause it’s them ass cheeks that make my ass weak
And I’ve been runnin’ with the blue balls since last week

He made his first punch and I jumped as his fist connected with the bag. His face was the picture of perfection, his eyes concentrated on what was in front of him.

Get, get naked.
Come on baby make it hot.
Get, get naked.
Ride the cock till you hit the spot.

Edward glanced over at me at this point and winked at me. My hands were shaking slightly as my breathing accelerated as the heat from both him and the song made me shiver in delight. I licked my lips languidly. I could feel my eyes getting heavy from the lust and I was sure my face must have been a picture.

Edward continued to smack into the punching bag until there was sweat dripping off his body. I was beyond control at this point. My mind was in hysterics. The electricity that was flowing off me in waves was unrecognisable.

In the methods of mayhem we trust.
It’s a must so rip off yer clothes and expose yer bust.

He turned to face me and his eyes melted into mine. They were dark, so, so dark and he was staring openly at my body.

Queen Bitch, red lipstick.
The all black harlot call me black Barbie.
Fuck a blow job; it’s a mother fucking hobby.
Under 7 inches, aye sorry.

The words of the song made me glance down, past the waistband of Edward’s low cut jeans and I followed the V of his hips. I stopped breathing when I saw his trousers straining forward. I made some sort of non-coherent noise and I didn’t know what to do. I gazed back up to his eyes, which were still undressing my body.

I stood up hurriedly and without taking a backward glance at him, I shot down the hall before I could embarrass myself by doing something to him. I ran into Alice’s room and slumped onto the floor.

“Alice,” I whimpered as my mind continued to play the film over and over in my head.

Chapter 6: Wasted Years

Was it life I’ve betrayed
For the shape that I’m in
It’s not hard to fail
It’s not easy to win
Did I drink too much
Could I disappear
And there’s nothing that’s left but wasted tears
‘Wasted Years’ by Cold



BPOV

Emmett coughed loudly, breaking us apart from our day dream. My cheeks reddened, of course but Edward just smirked and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me tight against him. I couldn’t help but glance down, to see if he was over his, eh, problem. Edward caught the glance and smirked wider at me. Before I had time to react he whispered in my ear.

“Like what you see, Bella?” YES! YES! YES! Naturally, my breathing hitched and I quickly looked away from him, not answering. The others looked at us and sniggered again, but were silenced when Edward started glaring angrily at them. It was my turn to snigger at them. Alice stuck her tongue out at me and I giggled before turning back to the TV. I didn’t have a clue what the film was about. I sighed and turned to Edward who was still looking at me, a slight smile on his face. I nudged him gently.

“What are you smiling about, huh?”

“Well, just yesterday, I met this amazing person. She’s beautiful, and she is very special.” The intensity of his stare made it impossible to look away. I didn’t even contradict him, though I knew he was wrong.

“Thank you,” I whispered. The words weren’t enough to convey how much he meant to me. It was quick, way too quick-I’d only known him for two days, but I felt like I’d known him for years. I didn’t know what I was feeling inside. It was strange and different from anything I’d ever felt before, but it felt good. And I craved more of it. Like when we were on the bed. My breathing picked up at the memory. Just that slight brush of his lips against mine had made me weak at the knees. I wanted to feel more. I wanted to feel all of him. His green eyes continued to bore into mine and I was assaulted by every fibre of him. He smirked slightly and brought his hand up and placed it on my neck, causing me to close my eyes in pleasure as he rubbed his thumb over my lips.

“Bella,” he murmured. My eyes opened involuntary and I was once more attacked by his blinding eyes. “Alice seems to be trying to get your attention.” He smirked and I frowned, getting myself out of the day dream quickly and trying to smile when I turned around to face Alice. She was grinning at me and I sighed and rolled my eyes. She was taking this way too far.

“Bella, come on!” I looked at her quizzically. She sighed and got up, over-exaggerating her movements. “We need to decide what you will wear tomorrow! Come on! Rosalie you come too! We have a lot of new clothes for her.” Alice winked at Rosalie and she stood up much quicker than normal. I looked suspiciously at them.

“What do you want?” I asked carefully. Alice just looked innocently at me.

“Nothing, Bella.” She rolled her eyes. “We just want to try some clothes on! Now come on!” I sighed and got up slowly and reluctantly. My heart was instantly colder without Edward’s touch. It was pathetic. Grow up Bella; you’ve only known him two stupid days. You shouldn’t like him as much as you do. Get your head screwed on tighter!

After my little pep talk I was dragged to my room by Alice and Rosalie. Alice ran and jumped on the bed.

“So, Bella?”

I looked at her expectantly.

“We need to make you look gorgeous for Edward, so he’ll think about you ALL day, when we are away.” I laughed nervously at her words.

“It shouldn’t matter what I wear, I’m sure he won’t be thinking of me,” I said, looking away. Rosalie snorted and sat down next to Alice, leaning back on her elbows.

“Bella, seriously, he won’t be thinking of anything else once we’ve had our way with you.” Alice looked at me thoughtfully and then her eyes brightened. I tried to stifle an exasperated groan as I flopped onto the floor.

“Please?” she asked quietly.

I looked up at her and she was staring at me, pouting.

“Fine.”

“Great! So anything? Any of your...new clothes?” she sneakily asked. I nodded at her words, not really paying attention. Then a huge smile lit up her face and I was reminded of what we bought.

“No, Alice! You cannot make me wear that skirt!” I stood up quickly, my hands on my hips, glaring at her. She frowned at me.

“Bella, you just said you would wear whatever I said; therefore I say you are wearing the skirt. No arguments!”

I stood, speechless as she walked over to the bags we had previously dumped on the floor. She rummaged through, throwing the offending item at Rosalie. Rosalie whistled when she looked at it.

“I’m not wearing it, Alice. We are going shopping; it’s not a fashion parade!” I exclaimed. Rosalie snorted and Alice looked at me incredulously.

“Bella, it is a SHOPPING CENTRE. Of course it’s a fashion parade.” She said the words slowly, as if she thought that I somehow couldn’t understand. Great. Now there is someone else thinking I was stupid. I tried to control my emotions as I could sense the smile dropping off my face.

“Alice, I am going to bed. I will not be wearing a skirt tomorrow. If you are lucky, I might wear that Abercrombie and Fitch shirt you bought me, okay? Now please, could I just go to sleep? I’ve had a really long day!” I begged her. Yeah right. I wasn’t tired. I just wanted to get away from her. I’m sure she didn’t mean it, Bella, I told myself as both Rosalie and Alice left the room, Alice looking like a dog who’d had its tail trodden on. But what if she had meant it?

I shook my head and quickly changed into some chequered pyjamas that Alice insisted were a must have. Who was going to see me in my pyjama’s anyway? She didn’t need to buy me super expensive ones. But at least it was better than James’s dirty t-shirts. I shuddered involuntarily at the thought. I peeked my head out of my bedroom and looked down the empty corridor. It was safe to go. I quickly ran into the bathroom down the hall and managed not to trip. I brushed my teeth quickly and washed my face. I tried not to look in the mirror but I still managed to catch glimpses of myself. Like usual, my eyes scared me; they were so dark, and haunted. It was like the life had been sucked from them. But that couldn’t be right. No. I refused to think about being empty. They aren’t here, Bella. You can have a life again. I sighed and gave up trying to convince myself otherwise. I would always be empty. I couldn’t be fixed, even by the most wonderful of people. Speaking of which, I opened the door and was once again met by Edward, leaning against the opposite wall.

“You were going to bed without saying good night?” He smirked down at me and I completely forgot all my worries. How could I think about them when I had Edward with me? I stuttered out a response.

“Um...eh...yes....I....um...was?” It came out like a question and he shook his head slightly, chuckling to himself. He put an arm on the small of my back and led me back to my room.

“So, are you looking forward to your shopping trip with Alice and Rose?”

I groaned and he laughed.

“We told you she was bad, but did you listen? No!” He laughed again and turned his head to look at me. I was amazed as his smile grew as he looked at me. My eyes lit up in response to his smile. Never before had someone looked at me like that. My heart soared, though I didn’t recognise the look in his eyes.
“Bella, I believe this is your room?” I looked up, somehow surprised that we were here. He pushed open the door and I walked in. I turned around, only to be quickly pressed against the wall. I could feel his body running along the seams of my own and I gasped in shock. The fire inside me burned like nothing I had felt before as he ran his lips along my jaw. I could feel myself drowning in the feel of his lips on my body. My body heated up more and more and eventually I squirmed against him, desperate to get some friction between my legs.

“Good night, Bella,” he whispered as his cool lips ran down my neck and across my collarbone.

“Don’t go,” I managed to make out, unable to stop myself from saying so. He chuckled lightly against my skin before raising his head to stare into my eyes.

“Bella, there is nothing more I would rather do, than stay here with you.” He moved his head around the side of my face. He gently nibbled on my ear and I whimpered something incoherent as my hands flew up to grasp his shoulders tightly.

“Bella, you have to go to bed.” And with that, he was gone.

What the-

Did he just-

How the-

Where’d he-

Wow.

I couldn’t even form a proper thought. That was how much he affected me. I groaned loudly and flopped down onto my bed. My blood was still coursing through me, and I had the desire rub my legs together. What the hell had he done to me? My mind raced through it again, remembering how I got goose bumps all down my back when he caught my ear in his lips. I threw a pillow over my head and tried to block out all thoughts of Edward. But I couldn’t. I tried counting sheep, but that didn’t help. I moved on to dogs, and then elephants, and then platypuses, each animal getting weirder and weirder until eventually I fell into a restless sleep.

----

I was in the hallway of my old house. It was empty. I couldn’t hear anyone. I thought I was safe. I turned around but then James was there. Victoria stood behind him, holding something in her hands. He grabbed me and flung me against the wall, bracing his arm against me so I couldn’t move. I was too frightened to call for help. And besides, it was useless. No one would come. Victoria walked up to us but I still couldn’t see what was in her hand. Suddenly, she grabbed my mouth, forcing it open and stuffed something into my mouth. I almost choked at the taste of it. It was soap. My nose started running, and tears were beginning to run down my cheeks. I tried to shake my head, desperate to get some air into my lungs. And then someone punched me. The blows kept coming and I started seeing stars in front of my eyes. James dropped me and I spat the soap out. I tried to crawl to the bathroom to retch but James grabbed me and kicked me in the ribs. I cried out as he did it again and again and again.

“Bella! Bella! Wake up, please!” My eyes flew open and I started choking, my hands flying to my throat.

EPOV

I smirked as I left Bella speechless in her room. I went into my room, coincidentally next door to Bella’s. I heard her groan loudly. I chuckled. How I fucking loved non-soundproofed rooms. I threw my t-shirt off and flung on a pair flannel bottoms. I stretched my arms above my head and then climbed in.

An hour later I was still fucking awake. I could not get that image of Bella whimpering beneath me from my mind.

Jesus Christ Cullen, move along! It’s not as if you were fucking her!

Yeah, like I could ‘fuck’ Bella. She is way more important than that.

Going all sappy are we?

Fuck off.

I am going insane. I really am. She’s been here two fucking days and I am obsessed. Get a grip. I groaned silently and watched my clock as the hours slipped by and my mind stayed tuned on Bella Swan. When it got to 1 AM and I still wasn’t asleep I sat up and turned my light back on. No way was I going to get any rest tonight. Not when I knew she was in the room next door, with her huge eyes and her full, red lips. CHRIST! I moved painfully, trying to relieve some of the pressure in my groin.

And that’s when I heard it. At first I just passed it off as a random noise that this stupid place makes, but then I heard it again. Someone was crying. But it wasn’t crying, it was more like quiet shouts of pain. And it was coming from Bella’s room. I was out of the room before I could curse. I opened her door, almost slamming it behind me and ran across to the bed. She was thrashing around in her sleep, her face scrunched up and her cheeks glistening with tears. She whimpered in pain again and again, and each cry was accompanied by a wince. I had to wake her up.

“Bella! Bella! Wake up please!” Her eyes flew open and she sat upright, clutching her throat. She was choking and all I could do was stare in horror. Her eyes were blazing with fear and her face had a slight sheen of sweat over it, brought on by her nightmare. My senses kicked in and I rubbed her on the back.

“Breathe, Bella. You’re okay. No one is hurting you.”

She took a couple of deep shaky breathes and then looked up at me, new tears forming in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry Edward,” she cried out as the tears fell down her cheeks. What the fuck? I took her in my arms and lay down on the bed, holding her tight against me. I stroked her hair and tried to calm her down.

“Shhhh, Bella, it’s alright,” I murmured. Her sobs grew quiet but her body still shook.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I asked her cautiously, not wanting to push her too far. She sniffed and nodded into her chest.

“It was them again. They were there. And they...they kept doing stuff to me.” She started sobbing against me again and I left it at that. I would find out one day.

“Bella, please calm down. You’re okay, they can’t hurt you. I’m here, love.”

Bella’s breathing hitched as she looked up at me. Holy shit. Did I just say what I thought I said? I couldn’t have! I called her love? By the look on Bella’s face I could tell that it had slipped out. Jesus, now she was going to go all weird and stupid on me. Way to go Cullen. I gazed into Bella’s eyes, trying to apologize but she looked away and snuggled her head into my chest. She hiccuped and sniffed before speaking.

“Please stay with me, Edward.” Her voice was hoarse from crying, and slightly muffled. It was only then that I realised that her face was against my bare chest. Meaning her fucking lips were against it too. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I shifted away from her but she moved closer, pressing her whole body against me and my growing hard on.

“Please, Edward?” she asked, her voice hesitant now. Wait, had I not answered yet?

“Of course I’ll stay.”

Bella gingerly wrapped her arms around me and moved her lips across my chest. Involuntarily, I stiffened and Bella giggled slightly.

Way to go, loser.

She would think I was a total dickhead since I couldn’t control myself around her. I sighed and held her tighter against me. I might as well get it when I can, right? I buried my nose in her hair, her exquisite scent assaulting my senses. She wrapped her legs through mine and we lay there, completely together. Bella fell asleep first. Her breathing evened out and I soon felt her relax in my grip. It wasn’t long after that I fell asleep too, my dreams filled with pictures of Bella.

*****

“Are they awake?”

“Does she know that her mouth is on his nipple?”

“Why is he eating her hair?”

“Is his hand on her breast?”

“Emmett, shut up with the questioning! They’ll hear you!”

My Bella induced haze was fading and I stirred, my eyes opening minutely. Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett stood at the end of the bed, staring at us like we were fucking zoo animals. I felt Bella stir against me, and instantly my morning wood sprang up.

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath. Bella frowned at me.

“What?” she asked, her voice husky in the morning. I nodded in their direction.

“Oh,” she simply said and then blushed the most adorable shade of red. I couldn’t help but reach out with my fingers and stroke along her cheek, making her go even redder. Emmett made puking noises and we both turned and glared at him.

“What the fuck are you even doing in here?”

“Well,” Alice began. “I came in to wake Bella up so we could get ready to go out, but you were in here as well! And the sight was too cute to keep to myself so I went and got everyone else!”

“Cute?” Emmett said, snorting. “I think more like ‘bloody-hot-grope-sucking-session’ is a more accurate name.”

I rolled my eyes at his crudeness. Bella turned to stare at me.

“You were feeling me up?” And for the first time in my whole fucking life, I, Edward Cullen, got embarrassed.

“No, I was not,” I said, flustered.

“Edward, yes you were. Your hand was on her breast,” Rosalie accurately stated. Bella blushed again and I groaned.

“But I didn’t mean to! I was asleep!”

“You mean you don’t want to feel me up?” I looked up at Bella in disbelief and was met with her big, brown eyes, staring at me like fucking Bambi.

“Bella, what on earth are you talking about?” What the fuck was going on? Hell, we hadn’t even kissed yet and she wanted me to grope her. Not that I didn’t want to, I just, fuck. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath.

“Bella, I—” I looked up as the five of them burst out laughing.

“Your face!” Jasper managed before going off in another fit of laughter.

“Get out now!” I snarled at them and the four at the end of the bed left, still laughing. Bella on the other hand, had stopped and was now looking at the ground, playing with the hem of her trousers. Her arms were unintentionally pushing her breasts together and I stared at them for a few seconds before I managed to get a grip on myself.

“So you thought it was funny did you?” I growled playfully. She looked up at me through her eyelashes and I saw something flash through them, before they turned bright as I winked at her before leaping and pinning her to the bed. I sat over her legs and she giggled. I raised an eyebrow at her before grinding my hips into hers. I was prepared to feel overwhelmed, but what I was not prepared for was Bella’s reaction. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she moaned loudly. The sound made my insides melt and I yearned to do it again, but like a gentleman, I forced myself not to.

“Not so funny now is it, Bella?” She shook her head at me meekly, her eyes filled with need. Her lips called me and I leant down, desperate to feel her lips against mine properly.

“EDWARD!” Alice hissed through the door before rapping on it lightly. “Carlisle’s coming! Get out of there!” Oh shit. If I was found here, they’d fucking murder me.

“Bella, I will explain later,” I whispered before jumping off the floor and running out the room.

BPOV

I’m not quite sure what just happened. After Edward ran from the room, his sister came back in.

“Bella! Shopping time! Go shower!” she told me. I frowned at her.

“Why did he leave?” I asked. It was now Alice who frowned slightly.

“That’s not for me to tell you. He’ll tell you later.” She started rummaging through my clothes and I sighed.

“Alice, I know what I’m wearing, now please, just leave me alone to get dressed!”

She sighed and dragged her feet out the room. I grabbed a pair of tight jeans and one of the tops she had bought me yesterday. Just because I didn’t want her help, didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try and look good for Edward.

There was a towel at the end of the bed which I assumed Alice had brought in with her. I picked it up and walked quickly, but carefully down the hall to the shower. Luckily, no one had gone in yet and this time I was able to get dressed in the bathroom. There was no one against the wall when I left the room this time, thank goodness, I thought. I was not ready to deal with the whole Edward thing yet.

I had spent the whole night with him. I still didn’t know how he got there or what happened between us. He had ground his goddamned hips against mine for goodness sake! Did that mean he liked me too? But how could I be so into him when we had only just met? It wasn’t possible! I groaned and forced myself not to thump the wall. My mind was a maze of unanswered questions that kept forcing themselves to the front of my mind. I sighed again, walking down the stairs with the hope that somebody would be about.

When I reached the kitchen, most of the others were already sitting there. Edward stood up when I came in and smiled. His smile quickly froze, freezing mine in the process. But Edward got a hold of himself, shaking his head lightly and came over to me quickly.

“You look amazing Bella,” he whispered, his voice close to my ear. And that made my decision. I didn’t care if I had only met him three days ago. I. Wanted. Edward. He pulled back from me and smirked once more, making me blush a thousand shades of red, before leading me to the table and sitting me down next to him.

“One black coffee for you,” he said passing me a cup of steaming coffee and the sugar bowl. Wow, I thought, he’d been paying attention yesterday. I smiled up at him.

“Thank you,” I said and he passed me over a plate. I looked up to find Esme looking at me thoughtfully. She was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. When she caught me looking she smiled and I returned it. Carlisle came through the door and said something to her. She replied and then he turned around to look at me. He frowned darkly and I blushed and looked away. I turned to Edward who was glaring at his father in hate. My eyebrows creased as I tried to work out what was going on. I looked back up to Carlisle and Esme. Esme now stood with a restraining arm on Carlisle who looked ready to kill Edward. My head flicked back to Edward who was shaking now, his fists clenched on the table.

“Edward?” I mimicked Esme and put my hand against Edward. Almost instantly, he seemed to relax and I breathed a sigh of relief when he faced me, his eyes nowhere near as black as they had been.

“Yes, Bella?” he said sweetly, running his hands along my cheek and brushing my hair behind my ear.

“What’s going on?” When I said this his eyes darkened slightly, but he smiled before I could say anything about it.

“Nothing,” he told me. I continued to persist.

“Edward, I saw what happened. Tell me what’s wrong. Please?” He looked into my eyes and seemed to give in.

“Later, okay? When we are alone. When we’re not being watched like hawks,” he added under his breath. I frowned but decided to leave it alone. It would do no good to exasperate him further. He didn’t say anything throughout the rest of the meal, and I kept my eyes down at the table, feeling awkward. I ate quickly and stood up as soon as I had finished. I left, not once looking at Edward. I ran up to my room, trying to ignore the implications of the encounter I had just witnessed. Why was Carlisle so annoyed at Edward? Was it because of me?

“Bella, I’m sorry.”

I jumped and squeaked embarrassingly. I flung my body around and Edward was in the bedroom, wringing his hands nervously. He looked up sheepishly at me through his lashes, and I motioned for him to proceed, whilst curling my knees to my chest. He hesitatingly took a step forward and shut the door.

“You see, um, Carlisle, um has a problem, you could say, with me and you.”

“Problem?” I asked numbly. Everyone had a problem with me.

“No, no, no, Bella! Not that kind of problem!” He ran across to me and grabbed my hands in his. I let him run his fingers run over my soft skin as he continued to justify what he had said.

“I meant he has a problem with you and I getting...together.”

“Why would he have a problem with that?”

He released my hands and stared down at the floor.

“Because, every girl I have ever been with has been a ‘onetime’ thing. You know, fuck ‘em then drop ‘em. He thinks I’m just after you for the sex—” His face darkened at this but he continued. “—and he thinks that you will get hurt. By me. Bastard,” I thought I heard him say quietly.

“Why does he think that, Edward?” I knew he could never hurt me, at least not physically. After yesterday, there was no doubt about it that he could ever hurt me like that.

“Because every one of the girls I fucked were obsessed with me. And I broke their hearts. But I could never do that to you, Bella, never. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did.” I heard the sincerity in his voice but...

What if I wasn’t as good as the others he had been with?

Stop being pathetic Bella, I told myself. But I couldn’t be sure. I knew I wanted him, so, so much. But what if I wasn’t good enough for him? What if I was awkward and rubbish and ugly? Once again I reminded myself that I was broken. Of course I would be worse than the others.

“Bella, what’s wrong?” His tone was worried now and I gazed into his eyes, completely lost.

“Edward, it’s just, it’s just—” I stopped. He looked at me, confusion written all over his face. “Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

His eyes narrowed but he didn’t press any further.

“Bella! Hurry UP!” Alice skipped into the room, beaming like a Cheshire cat. I groaned.

“Wish me luck!” I said, trying to make my voice cheerful. I slipped my shoes on quickly and grabbed my coat, managing to put it on before Alice grabbed me and dragged me off for the second trip to the mall in just a few days.

Rosalie and Alice spent the whole journey discussing what would look good on me.

“Definitely dark blue,” Rosalie said.

“Yes, and that purple that she is wearing looks really good too!”

“Not yellow, it would make her skin look weird.”

“Yeah, but it would depend on the shade I suppose.”

I tuned out after that and closed my eyes. My mind jumped straight to Edward. I bit back a frustrated groan. I couldn’t even go shopping without thinking of him. That was just great.

“Bella? Bella?” Alice sang. My eyes flickered open and she was leaning right over me. “We’re here!” she explained. Good? I climbed out of the car and followed Rosalie and Alice who walked into the mall like they owned the place.

The first shop we went into Alice grabbed stuff from every shelf and flung them into my arms. It was all short skirts and revealing tops. I had to stop her.

“Alice Cullen, stop,” I said in my most forceful voice. “I do not wear short sleeves—” I threw 4 of the items back at her. “I do not wear midriff revealing tops either—” I then threw another 2 of the items back at her. “And I most definitely do NOT wear tartan Mini-skirts!” I threw back the one that she had just given me. I now had in my arms, two tops and a black mini-skirt. I mean it couldn’t hurt to try could it?

“I told you, Alice!” Rosalie said while smirking at Alice and winking at me. Alice frowned and dumped the clothes on a stand before hurrying off to find something else. Luckily, she did not find anything else that met both her and my needs.

“Fine, Bella, go try those things on. But we are not finished yet. You are not wearing any of that to a club.” She scowled at me and I danced happily to a changing room with just three items. I slipped into the skirt and one of the tops. I froze when I looked at myself in the mirror. It was so short.

“Bella are you alright in there?” Alice asked timidly.

“It’s so short,” I managed to stutter out. I heard rather than saw the door being opened. Damn it for the magnet locks.

“Bella, wow! What the hell is wrong with that?” Rosalie whistled.

“Bella, you look amazing! We are so getting that skirt! And the top!” I looked at them more carefully. I suppose it wasn’t too bad. I could live with short. Maybe. If I was high on coke! What was I thinking? I couldn’t possibly wear this.

“No, I can’t get this. I’m not the kind of girl who wears skirts.”

“But, Bella, you look so good!”

I shook my head firmly.

“Do you want me to try on the other top or not?” Alice huffed at me and nodded angrily before storming out of the tiny room.

I quickly threw on the other top, only to take it off immediately. It was HIDEOUS! I knew Alice would agree.

“Alice, this one is dreadful. I’m going to chuck you the clothes over. Can you please put them back while I get changed?” I heard her grumble and sigh as she clattered about, picking up everything I had thrown over.

I changed, slower this time, and walked casually out of the changing room to see Rosalie waiting for me. I smiled nervously to her, still not sure what had made her change towards me so fast.

“Alice is just buying herself some things; we can wait for her outside.” We moved out the shop and sat down on a bench. There was a bit of an awkward silence until we both spoke at once.

“I’d like to—”

“Could I—” We both smiled at each other and I motioned for her to continue.

“I’d like to apologise for behaving so rudely to you when you first arrived here. I had a hard time settling in with certain people and it was horrible seeing that the two of you got on so well.”

“I’m guessing we’re talking about Edward right?”

She nodded. “He really has never taken well to newcomers - except you. I was jealous. Jealous that you had something I didn’t, something that made you so much more special to him.”

I snorted at this.

“Oh but Bella, you are that bit more special to him. I have lived with Edward for years and never once have I seen him half as happy as he is when he is around you. His whole face glows and he can’t look away. It’s as if he’s blinded by you.”

I couldn’t speak. My mouth opened and closed like a fish. Rosalie chuckled.

“I’m serious Bella. You’ve changed him.”

I finally found my voice again. “B...but I only met him a few days ago?”

“That was my problem, but Bella it doesn’t matter that it was only a few days. It was a love at first sight moment. You cannot change that.”

“Love?” I spluttered out.

“Yes, Bella, love! You would believe me if you saw how he acts around you. He constantly has to have his hands on you—”

“That’s lust, not love,” I interrupted.

“Bella, don’t be silly. It’s not like that. He plays with your hair, and holds your hand and strokes your cheek. A guy after sex doesn’t do that.”

“But then why does Carlisle have such a problem with us getting together?” I was glad I was finally delving deeper into the mystery of this. Rosalie sighed.

“He talked to us about it yesterday. He said that something really bad had happened to you, and that he would not let anybody hurt you anymore. Edward came under that category of hurting you.” My mind had stopped with her sentence. They couldn’t know anything could they?

“H...how?” I managed to say, trying not to look like I was caught out.

“Edward is, well was, a bit of a man-whore to be honest. And Carlisle didn’t want to see him use you the same way he did with all those girls.”

“How many were there?”

Rosalie frowned. “I can’t tell you that, Bella.”

“There was that many?”

Her frown deepened.

“Fine. About 25.” 25? Is that big or not? I knew nothing about a teenage boy’s mind.

“Has he had any longer relationships?” If he hadn’t lasted with anyone else, how did I know he would last with me?

“Well, relationship is a loose sense of the word, but there was one. Her name was Tanya and they fucked for about 6 months before she moved to New York.”

“What was she like?”

“Blonde hair, big boobs, fake tan, you know the sort.”

Everything I’m not then.

“Bella, do not be ridiculous. He likes you because you aren’t like that,” Rosalie said. I didn’t even realize I had spoken out loud.

“Are you sure Rosalie?” She smiled brightly at me.

“Bella, already he worships the ground you walk. Trust him; he won’t let you down.” I thought over Rosalie’s words carefully. If it was true, then I was the luckiest girl in the world. If not, I was the most gullible girl in the world.

I spotted Alice coming out the door and I smiled up at Rosalie.

“Thanks Rosalie.” She smiled back at me.

“No problem Bella.” She turned serious and she reached out to touch my arm. “And if you ever need someone to talk to about...things...please come to me. I know what it’s like to have no one to turn to.” With that we stood up and were off. Again.

AN: Thank you to my beta’s, thedarknessofthemoon, Ally Carlson and the ProjectTeamBeta girls.

Thanks for reading, please review.

Chapter 5: It's Been A While

It's been a while
since I could say that I wasn't addicted and
It's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

‘It’s Been A While’ by Staind


EPOV


It was 5pm. We’d slept for two hours. I woke up from the worst, yet most fucking amazing dream I ever had. And then I found it was reality. She was still there in my arms, her chest rising and falling as she breathed slowly. Her hair was matted to her face and I noticed that the jumper I’d slipped on her now had a dark red patch on her arm. I hissed the scar, for what caused it, and for the horrific mess it was now. I gingerly picked up her arm. I rolled her sleeve up until I could just see the cut. Luckily it had stopped bleeding but it still looked horrendous. There was dried blood surrounding it and the long, deep cut was partly closed over. There was some light purple bruising around it and I cringed at the sight. I brought her arm slowly up to my lips and pressed them to it, blowing lightly on the cut, as if thinking that a kiss could make it better. What a fucking joke.


“What are you doing?”


I looked at Bella and her eyes were wide open, staring at me in confusion. My heart fell and I dropped her arm gently. She didn’t fucking like it.

Story of my life.

“Sorry; I didn’t mean to. I’ll go.” I climbed out of bed but her hand reached out and grabbed me. My skin burned where she touched me.


“Please don’t go. I was just...shocked.” The way she said it, made me think there was something more to what she was telling me. I turned back around and lost myself in her deep eyes.


“Why? Why would you be shocked?”


She hesitated, but I continued to look her in the eyes and just hope she’d answer.


“You...make it feel better.” Her face turned red and she quickly looked to the ground.


“Make what feel better?”


Surprisingly she looked up at me and the passion in her voice was clear when she replied.


“Everything,” she whispered.


I stared at her, my mind unable to comprehend. Had she just said what I thought she said? I made her feel better? Me? Edward fucking Cullen? She just looked at me, and fuck I knew how much that took to look me in the eyes. Her eyes were wide, and Jesus she looked gorgeous. Her lips were slightly wet and they were so full and God, I just leaned in subconsciously. But she leaned in too and I could almost taste her.

“Edward?”


Shit! That MOTHERFUCKER! GO TO HELL YOU DICKHEAD! COULDN’T YOU SEE I WAS BUSY!?


Bella quickly backed away from me and I turned around to face Carlisle.


“I see you two are awake?” Neither of us answered his rather obvious question.


“Edward, I would like a word. Bella, are you okay? How is the pain?”


She nodded and chanced a glance at me that Carlisle caught. I turned to face her and smiled. She blushed and I winked before following Carlisle out the room. He led me to his office where lo and behold! My dear mother sat along with the other bitches that ran this dump.


“Edward, we would like to talk to you about your relationship with Bella.” Carlisle was the first one to speak.


“Well I’d figured as much.” Wow, I managed to speak without swearing at him. That is definitely an improvement.


“Well we were discussing last night, the fact that you two have a rather...different relationship.”


“Different meaning I don’t want to fucking beat her up?” And there goes the swearing.


“Language, Edward, but yes.”


“And?” I asked. So what if I liked her. What was their problem? Carlisle looked over at Esme.


“We don’t think you should conduct a relationship with her,” he told me simply.


What the fucking hell?


“You mean you don’t want me to have sex with her,” I snorted and Carlisle looked away from me, the tension in the room obvious.


“It doesn’t matter what it is. We don’t want you to go any further than being friends.”


“Well fuck that. I like her, I like her a lot. And you are not taking her away from me. Plus she likes me too. You really want to upset her?” I smirked at him and he glared back.


“Edward, I have said what I wanted to. Do NOT mess with Bella, do you understand me? I don’t want you to have a relationship with her.”


“Yes, I fucking understand you. Doesn’t mean I’m going to obey you.” Hell if after today I wasn’t going to fucking kiss her. I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so much before, and fuck me but I knew she wanted it too.


“Edward!”


“Carlisle, calm down.” Esme placed a hand on his arm and he managed to get his temper back under control. I rolled my eyes. This was like a fucking soap opera.


“Second thing, and this is serious, Edward, has she told you anything about her past? About her breakdown today, or about the pain in her head? Anything at all?” Elizabeth’s voice was much calmer and I was able to speak more politely to her. I thought about the cutting, but I’d promised Bella I wouldn’t tell. Fuck me if I was going to break her trust.


“No, nothing at all.” But holy shit, was I going to find out.


“If she tells you anything of importance please come to one of us so we can help her.” I nodded, lying to them. I would only come to them if she said I could.


“And finally, about this incident with Mike.” Carlisle spoke up again and I growled at the name.


“Fuck Mike, I’d kill him if I could. He fucking kissed her! That is what started her breakdown! And if he does anything to her again, he will wish he was never fucking born!” They stared at me in shock, probably surprised at the amount of emotion I was showing. But if anyone hurt her, I would kill them slowly and painfully. No one else would ruin her life. Esme glanced at Carlisle and then Elizabeth, giving them a look I didn’t understand.


“Thank you for telling us what upset Bella,” Esme said. “Just stay away from Mike.”


I nodded. I would quite happily do that.


“Um, you might want to speak to Lauren about her behavior to Bella. She didn’t eat breakfast because of Lauren. I don’t know what happened though,” I added, trying to be civil. Esme nodded in understanding.


“Thank you, Edward. And please try and be less of a...”


“Dick?” I suggested. Esme looked at me reproachingly.


“Be nice around Bella okay? Just be careful. She’s had a rough life.” Esme finished and I nodded. It wasn’t until Carlisle started talking that my temper began to rise again.

“Edward-”

I stood up angrily, interrupting him, without even knowing what he was going to say. I knew it was stupid, but I was sick of being told what to do.


“Well tough, Carlisle, because if she wants it, then guess what, we’ll have one. I’ll be whatever she fucking wants me to be,” I said as I stormed out the room.


“Edward!” An arm was flung over my shoulder and I growled at Emmett.


“Leave me alone. I’m going to see Bella. I’ll bring her down and we can talk.”


“Edward, she’s not three; she can walk herself down the stairs.”


I glared at him, threw his arm off me and walked up the stairs. Bella was sitting on the bed, with her knees pulled up to her chest and staring into the distance. She’d changed her jumper so the blood red patch on her arm wasn’t there anymore. I could tell she was struggling to keep herself together; her breathing was erratic and very fast.


“Bella?” I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her. I rocked her against me, stroking her hair. “What happened?”


“I could see them, Edward. I could see them.”


“See who, Bella?” She looked up at me, her eyes dark and hooded.


“Them, Edward! Them!” She started getting worked up and panicky so I just nodded and calmed her down again.


“Okay, Bella, it’s okay. I won’t let them hurt you. No one will hurt you again.” I would find out who fucking hurt her. I would find out everything.


“Bella, Alice and everyone are waiting for us downstairs, they all want to make sure you are okay.” She nodded and I wiped away the tears she hadn’t shed. She looked up at me and I couldn’t understand the look in her eyes.


I helped her stand up and wrapped an arm around her waist, winking at her from the side. She giggled slightly and I smiled. That was what I was after. We walked down and into the living room. Thank fuck that Lauren and that god-damned bastard Mike weren’t there.


As soon as we entered the room Bella dropped her head to the floor and moved her hair to cover her face. I frowned and resisted the urge to move it out of her eyes. She was obviously not comfortable. Alice smiled brightly at Bella; I saw Bella’s eyes dart around the room and she looked up a bit more when she saw who was in the room. No one to be fucking afraid of. I pulled her onto the sofa and kept my arm wrapped around her.


“So, Bella! Are you feeling better now?” Alice asked chirpily.


Bella nodded and blushed darkly, her eyes dropping to the floor again.


“Anyway, we were thinking of going out this weekend. Do you two want to come? I can dress you up in some of your new clothes! We’ll have so much fun!”


Bella looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I stifled a laugh.


“Where exactly are you thinking of going?” I asked Alice.


“You know the club one3one? Well it has an all ages night every Friday so everyone will be able to get in. Even Bella and I! So I was thinking we could go there! And it’s stiletto night! So, Bella, we can go shopping again! We need to get you some club clothes!” I looked over at Bella who was still frozen.


“But you got me that dress…” she stuttered. Alice tutted and shook her head.


“That’s for Elizabeth’s party on Wednesday night.”


“So what do you think, Bella?” I asked her. She looked over at me, her eyes wide.


I leaned in and whispered in her ear, “It’ll be fun, beautiful; I’ll look after you.” I leaned back to look at her eyes and she slowly nodded.


“Fine, I’ll go.”


I smiled at her brightly. For once I couldn’t fucking wait. I’d have Bella and it would be amazing. Oh and fuck we could dance, and grind, and-oh shit. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as I tried to re-adjust my pants after that thought. Get your mind out of the fucking gutter, Cullen. I saw Jasper look sideways at me and then he burst out laughing. I glared at him.


“Cut it out,” I said under my breath as everyone else looked at him.


“Jazz, what’s so funny?” Alice asked. I narrowed my eyes at him, daring him to say anything.


“It doesn’t matter,” he said, highlighting his southern drawl to placate Alice. Her eyes softened and she didn’t inquire anymore into it. Jasper sniggered silently at me once Alice had turned around but thankfully, he didn’t say anything. Maybe this club thing wouldn’t be as good an idea as I’d previously thought.


I turned back to Bella and was once again consumed by those deep brown eyes. I would do anything to see them peeking up at me through her lashes as she wrapped her luscious lips—HOLY FUCK! Get a grip, Edward. She is not someone you just fuck! Jesus, everything she did made me want to kiss her. Fucking Carlisle. He was the one who brought this up!


“So, Bella, what was your life like in Phoenix?” Emmett asked a simple question but Bella froze and her eyes glazed over. My hands clenched slightly as she winced. And again, and again, and again , she kept on wincing. What the hell had just happened?


“Bella?” She didn’t hear me. “Bella?” She didn’t even glance my way. Fuck it, I thought and I took matters into my own hands. I was not going to watch her in pain. I knelt in front of her, ignoring the weird looks from the others, and took her face in my hands.


“Bella, listen to me. You’re safe, I’m here, no one will hurt you,” I said quietly, trying not to let the others hear my words. I saw her eyes fill with confusion when she saw me and she struggled to realize something. But then they filled with relief, focusing on me, and she let out a breath I hadn’t realized she’d been holding. I climbed back onto the sofa and pulled her onto my lap. I wrapped my arms around her tight, and sent everyone in the room a look so they knew not to mention it. Emmett looked horrified at what he’d done.


“Don’t worry bro,” I mouthed at him. He nodded but still looked a bit upset. Bella looked up at me, her eyes back to normal but with something still lurking in the background. I raised my hand to her cheek and stroked down her cool skin. Her skin turned a gorgeous shade of pink and her eyes grew hot as she smiled up at me, for once unembarrassed by my attention and keeping my gaze. I smiled back at her and this time she looked down again, but her eyes met by chest and she blushed again.


“Sorry, I’ll move,” she started but I held her tight and wouldn’t let her go. I smirked at her and she blushed and tried to look anywhere but me, but as she looked around the room she was met with winks and knowing smiles. She settled for my chest in the end and leaned her head against me. Her aroma of strawberries and freesia filled the air and I brought her hair to my nose and inhaled. Alice looked at me weirdly again but didn’t say anything.


“So anyway, as I was saying, Bella, we can leave tomorrow morning. Rose, do you want to come?” I held my breath and waited as I looked at Rose. I wasn’t sure what she would say but if she fucking upset Bella...


But we were all surprised by what Rose did. She smiled brightly at Bella.


“Sure I’ll come. I think you’d look good in dark blue ,Bella, maybe we can find a dress or top in that colour. What do you think, Alice?” Bella sat up slightly and looked at Rosalie in shock, but Rosalie just smiled at her and Bella leaned against me again, though she glanced up at me, confused, a couple of times. I smiled innocently at her and she eventually just shrugged it off.


“So, what do you say to wearing a skirt?” Alice asked bouncing on her seat with excitement. Bella just looked at her.


“I don’t really do skirts—”


“Oh but you’d look great in one. At least, Edward would think so,” Alice said cheekily. I growled at her and she laughed her stupid tinkling laugh. It wasn’t fucking like that. Not that I didn’t want it to be more. After that stupid talk it was all I could think about. But I would have to leave that to Bella. I wouldn’t make her more uncomfortable.


Bella had blushed redder at Alice’s words.


“I’m sure he wouldn’t, Alice,” she said, fidgeting in my lap.


What the fuck? Jesus, she would look fucking gorgeous in a skirt! I frowned.


“Bella, you would look amazing in a skirt,” I whispered to her, making her shiver when my breath hit her ear. I ran my fingers gently up her thigh and along her hip. My hands were fucking burning and my groin was getting painful. Bella’s breathing hitched and I smirked slightly and brought my hand back. She shook her head slightly and I resisted the urge to press myself against her and kiss the fucking daylights out of her. She scooted slightly in my lap and my hand unconsciously fisted into the chair and I stifled a groan, though I’m sure I still made a noise by the way Jasper looked at me.


I was tense for the rest of the conversation; I never relaxed my hands and my face must have been a fucking picture. Bella kept moving in my lap and she kept waving her hair about. Every so often she would turn slightly so I would see her gorgeous eyes and her fucking lips. Not good.


When Esme came to ‘announce’ dinner, I breathed a sigh of relief as Bella moved off me. I saw Esme glance at me and frown when she saw Bella sitting on me. I glared at her and she didn’t say anything. Bella looked back at me and I stood up quickly and wrapped a protecting arm around her as we walked to the kitchen. I sat her next to me, and to my surprise, Rosalie sat down on her other side with a friendly smile . Rosalie really was making an effort. I smiled gratefully at her.


Lauren came in and frowned when she saw who I was sitting next to, but a look from Esme halted her and she sank meekly into a different seat. Well thank fuck that they had talked to her.


When Mike walked in, I tried not to growl at him. He had a two black eyes and his nose looked like it had just been re-set. His jaw was bruised and he looked like hell. He winced with every step.


Bella’s head flung around to look at me. “What happened to him?”


“I’ll tell you later,” I whispered. She turned around but shrank closer to me when Mike walked past her. I glared at him and he walked on quickly. It was a very awkward meal. Bella was embarrassed after her breakdown and wouldn’t look up from the table. Mike and Lauren were angry and kept trying to say something but stopped when Carlisle met their eyes. And then there was me, trying to keep Bella calm. I rubbed her back every so often and she would always smile and look up, but as soon as I brought my hand away, she looked back down at the table.


Every adult in the room had their eyes on us and even I was getting fucking uncomfortable. They would glance at us whenever I would touch her and the electricity filled the whole room. Even Emmett, still slightly upset over the incident with Bella didn’t make any stupid comments. The room was silent, and it was freaking me out.


We all ate quickly, and no one spoke until the end.


“So Esme, Rose, Bella and I are going shopping tomorrow. We’re going out to the one3one on Friday and we need to get clothes. Is that okay?” Alice asked.


Esme nodded yes, then asked, “Bella, will you be okay?” Bella blushed and nodded.


“I’ll look after her, Esme,” I said sincerely, hoping she could see how much Bella meant to me. She glanced at Carlisle who was frowning but she nodded anyway. Thank goodness. At least she had some sort of trust in me. Mike left the table quickly and once Lauren and Jessica had followed him out, Bella turned to me.


“What happened?”


“Right, well after you know, he um, kissed you.” Bella flinched at the reminder. “Well I kind of…..punched him.”


Emmett snorted, “You did more than punch him Edward. You left him in a bloody heap on the ground.”


Bella looked at me her eyes wide. And then she stood up and ran out the room. I stared after her shell-shocked. And then my eyes narrowed.


“Fuck it.” And I walked out the room after her. I knocked on the door and when she didn’t answer I opened the door and went in. She was lying, curled up into a ball on the bed, her cheeks glistening in the light with tears that were silently falling.


“Bella, please don’t cry.” I walked over to her and reached out to touch her, but she flinched away.


“Bella,” I gasped, pain filling the rejection. Did she really think I would fucking hurt her?


“Bella, I would never hurt you, ever! You know that! I was so angry at Mike, at what he did to you. I did it because of you. So he wouldn’t hurt you again. I’m so sorry, Bella, please!” I reached out again and this time she didn’t flinch when I touched her face but her eyes still held a tiny bit of fear in them. It killed me to see her scared of me.


“I thought I’d left that behind. I never thought that even here, that it would all still continue,” she said blankly.


“Bella, I’m so sorry. I would never hurt you. I couldn’t. Bella, you are everything to me. Please, believe me. Trust me.” She looked up into my eyes and nodded slightly.


“I trust you, Edward. It was just… scary,” she whispered. I climbed up next to her and her breathing hitched as she unrolled from her small ball. I kept my hand against her face as the air around us hummed. Her eyes were burning into mine and her lips parted lightly. I could feel her hot breath against my face and my body was screaming at me to kiss her. I leaned in.


BPOV


“You did more than punch him, Edward. He was left on a bloody heap on the ground.” Emmett made this statement but I couldn’t turn to look at him. Edward was like...them? No, there had to be a mistake. He couldn’t be like them. He couldn’t! I had to get away from him, so I ran. I was always running from something. I didn’t even notice the tears on my face. I sank onto the bed, curling up, hoping to stop the hole inside my chest from growing. I’d thought I was safe, and yet, the person I was closest to was the one who I couldn’t trust. Someone knocked on the door but I couldn’t answer; my throat was too constricted.


“Bella, please don’t cry.” I heard his footsteps cross over to my bed. He reached out and tried to touch me but I jumped back, to afraid that he would do something to me too.


“Bella,” he said. And his voice made me stop in my tracks. He sounded like I felt. Broken.


“Bella, I would never hurt you, ever! You know that! I was so angry at Mike, at what he did to you. I did it because of you; so he wouldn’t hurt you again. I’m so sorry Bella, please!” I looked at him properly and what I saw in his eyes made me believe him. He was looking at me with such honesty and care; I knew he was telling the truth. When he reached out this time, I let him touch me, and my skin felt on fire when he did touch me. I had to explain.


“I thought I’d left that behind. I never thought that even here, that it would all still continue,” I said blankly, trying to bypass the memories that were hitting me.


“Bella, I’m so sorry. I would never hurt you. I couldn’t. Bella, you are everything to me. Please, believe me. Trust me.” I looked into his eyes again and I nodded at him


“I trust you Edward. It was just… a shock,” I whispered. Seeing someone that I relied on so much, do so much damage, so much familiar damage threw me. But I couldn’t stop trusting him. He was everything. I know it was just the second day, but already I knew I couldn’t live without him. He made me think there was hope. He climbed up next to me and lay alongside me. I straightened my legs out and all of a sudden my whole body was blazing with the feel of him against him. I looked into his scorching eyes and I stopped breathing. He leaned in towards me.


“Breathe, Bella,” he whispered as his breath brushed against my lips. Heat was radiating from me and I took a ragged breath. He ran his hand up my waist leaving a searing trail behind. When he got to my neck he bent my head upwards and leaned in further.


“Bella,” he whispered as he stared at me. A silent question. I nodded and closed the distance. His lips brushed over mine, very slightly, and the spark flew around the room, bouncing off the walls. He smiled up at me as he moved in to do it again.


“Bella?”


Okay, what? Who? I turned around, my brain still muddled, and saw Alice standing in the doorway.


“Oops, sorry! I’ll leave you to continue whatever you were doing...” she trailed off.


“No, no. Sorry, Alice.” I sat up biting my lip, my face a deep red. Edward sat up too and it was only then that I noticed his breathing was just as uneven as mine.


“Um…” she hesitated in the doorway, “…I was just going to ask if you wanted to watch a film in my room. But, it doesn’t matter.”


“No, Alice, we’ll come watch,” Edward told her, taking my hand and making the fire light up again within me. I followed him rather dazed into Alice’s room.


I blinked and somehow I was on Edward’s knee and he had his arms around me again. Rose was smiling suspiciously at me and she and Alice shared a knowing look. Rosalie had been so much nicer today since I’d gotten back and I didn’t know why. I was glad though.


When the lights went out, all I became aware of was Edward. I could feel everything from where I was sitting and the fire kept getting hotter and hotter. I was trembling and the heat went to my face. I inhaled sharply when Edward started stroking the back of my neck, which really didn’t help. I hadn’t a clue what the film was about. I tried to concentrate on breathing normally, but it wasn’t working. And then he pressed his lips to my neck. And I moaned, shifting in his lap, my reaction shocking me. Shouldn’t I be scared of that? It was like James all over again. But with Edward, it felt…good.


“Fuck,” I heard Edward say quietly and then my eyes went wide. I glanced around the room and they were all looking at us. Oh crap. I could feel myself going a deep red as they all stared at us.


“Sorry,” I murmured before turning away from them all, but my eyes met Edward’s whose were burning with need. I had to turn away from him. The feelings were overwhelming me, and I didn’t know what to do, or what to feel; scared or lustful, terrified or expectant. As I shifted back around to face the others Edward groaned. Really loud. And his hand went into my hair and pulled it gently. What did I do? Did I hurt him?



And then Emmett started sniggering and soon Jasper started too. Finally Rosalie and Alice joined in when they saw our faces.


“Sorry,” I whispered to him, not looking up and I made to move across the room. But he held me back and sat me down next him, not on his lap though. I noticed his hand was still clenched to the arm of the sofa.


“Bella, it’s not your fault his mind is in the gutter!” Emmett hollered, while laughing like a madman. What? Ohhhh. That made sense now. I blushed even harder and looked down at my knees, playing with my hands.


“Bella, it’s my fault. I’m sorry. You are just far too beautiful for your own good,” Edward said quietly to me. I snorted at that and he frowned. He didn’t say anything though, because Jasper started in.


“Alice? You want to know what I was laughing about earlier?” She nodded eagerly and I turned to face Jasper, curious. Edward on the other hand let out a low snarl.


“Don’t you fucking dare, Jasper Whitlock.” Jasper looked at him and then shook his head.


“Well, when you were talking about going out to the club, Edward over there had that same little problem, though I’m not sure if it was that little. We could always ask Bella!” Edward glared at him and turned away. I couldn’t blush any deeper but if I could, I would have. Everyone but me laughed. I felt embarrassed for him. He was looking anywhere but me. I took his hand and interlocked my fingers. He looked at me and I smiled slightly. I stroked his hand and this time, instead of a fire burning everywhere all at once, it gradually worked up as we stared at each other. Edward was my life now, and I knew I could not live without him.


EPOV


I’d kissed her. Okay it wasn’t exactly a kiss. More a slight touch of lips. Her fucking beautiful lips. I sat up, slightly out of breath and tried to comprehend what Alice was saying, I was still thinking about that almost kiss. The electricity was still fucking flowing and I wanted to pull Bella into my arms and make out until nightfall. Jesus, I am really acting like a hormonal fucking teenager. You are a hormonal fucking teenager, Edward.


“Um,” Alice hesitated in the doorway. “I was just going to ask if you wanted to watch a film in my room. But, it doesn’t matter.” It took my brain a minute to catch up with what Alice said.


“No, Alice, we’ll come watch.” Anything to get away from the stupid charge that was still running through the room. I stood up and took Bella’s hand. Bad fucking idea. The charge I felt between us multiplied and I quickly pulled Bella to Alice’s room. She was sort of out of it, her eyes were glazed over but she was smiling so I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t allow myself to think it may have been the almost-kiss. I pulled her onto my lap and thirty seconds later she looked around, puzzled by where she was. I tried not to laugh and squeezed her tighter.


Then the lights went out. Fuck. My whole body charged and it all went straight to my groin. My eyes zoned in on Bella. Her hair was over one shoulder and I could see her beautiful slender neck. I brought my hand and stroked her skin, smiling when she shivered. My fingers were trembling like a fucking girl as my heart rate accelerated and I even moved forward slightly before I could stop myself. But I caught the smell of her hair and I couldn’t resist. I leaned right to her and I pressed my lips against her neck. What I wasn’t expecting was Bella’s reaction. She moaned and shifted against me.


“Fuck,” I said hoarsely. I clenched my fists into the sofa, trying to stop from moving against her.


“Sorry,” Bella murmured. Bella looked round at me but quickly turned away. But as she did so she moved in my lap again and this time my hand fisted into her hair and I groaned, my eyes rolling back in my head. And then they all started fucking laughing.



“Sorry,” she whispered to me, refusing to look at me. She tried to get up but I pulled her back, just sitting her next to me rather than on top.


“Bella, it’s not your fault his mind is in the gutter!” Emmett shouted, while laughing like a fucking dickhead. And that just made Bella redder.


“Bella, it’s my fault. I’m sorry. You are just far too beautiful for your own good,” I told her, leaning in to her. She was fucking stunning. I’d never seen anyone like her. She snorted at me and I frowned darkly. She was gorgeous she just didn’t see it. I opened my mouth to tell her again but Jasper started talking.


“Alice? You want to know what I was laughing about earlier?” She nodded eagerly and I narrowed my eyes at Jasper and snarled like some kind of fucking animal at him. Jesus, Edward, calm down, he’s not fucking Mike.


“Don’t you fucking dare, Jasper Whitlock,” I ground out. Jasper looked at me and grinned, shaking his head. Oh fuck. This would not be pleasant for poor Bella.


“Well earlier, when you were talking about the club, Edward over there had that same little problem, though I’m not sure if it was that little. We could always ask Bella.” I growled at him and turned away from Bella. Fuck, it wasn’t her fault I found her way too beautiful. But she took my hand and interlocked her fingers. I looked up at her, my eyes apologetic but she just smiled at me and I smiled back. This girl was amazing. My life seemed complete now that she was here. And Jesus, I couldn’t wait to kiss her.



AN: Thanks for reading, please leave a review. Thank you to my beta’s (darknesofthemoon and the girls over at ProjectTeamBeta).

Chapter 4: Last Night

You come to me with scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this
I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine
But I know it's a lie.

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you'll spend alone,
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,
I'm everything you need me to be.
‘Last Night’ by Skillet

EPOV

I woke up from my dream of Bella to the cutest, most adorable sound in the world. Holy shit. I, Edward Cullen, just said the words ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’. Soon I’ll be growing a fucking vagina. I listened carefully to the footsteps I knew were Bella, going past my room. When I heard a door shut, I jumped out of bed and went to lean against the wall opposite the bathroom. I told myself I just wanted to shower before a line started to form but honestly, I just wanted to see Bella. This girl had turned me into a completely different person. And I’d known her for one fucking day.

I’d spent all night dreaming of Bella Swan. Her long, sweet-smelling hair, her full, dark lips, her gorgeous, deep eyes. Her fucking eyes. I swore that every minute of every shitty day would be spent getting those eyes to sparkle. She was unfuckingbelievable. She was everything I needed. I was blinded by her. Blinded by the most precious person that ever has walked this earth. Christ, I really sounded like a fucking girl.

But then she was there. And every coherent thought just flew from my brainwashed head. She was there in a towel. Just. A. Fucking. Towel. Shit, and you could almost see everything from where it stopped on her long, pale legs. Oh Jesus, they went on forever. Her skin was so creamy and her hair was dripping water down her whole body. I lifted my eyes to her face and she was staring at the ground. Again. But her cheeks were red, she was blushing furiously. Was my gaze really that suggestive? I smirked as she raised her eyes to mine.

“Sleep well?” She blushed at my words and looked away.

“It was okay.” God she was sexy when she was nervous.

“May I ask what was with the squeak?” I raised an eyebrow at her and gave her the smile that seemed to affect her so much. It must have been my lucky day, as she blushed and looked away from me again.

“You heard me?”

I nodded at her and she groaned. Fuck, wouldn’t I want to hear that noise when I was kissing her.

Jesus Christ, Cullen. She’s fucking scared of everyone. You can’t. Ever. Be a fucking friend and not just a dick.


“I...uh...tripped.” That brought me back to the conversation. I felt my mouth twitch as I tried not to laugh. She was clumsy. She had tripped so often yesterday.

“You do that a lot?” I asked, knowing the answer. She looked at me and narrowed her eyes. She looked beautiful when she was angry.

“Yes. What’s it to you?” she asked me. I walked up to her, keeping my eyes locked to hers. She started breathing erratically and I hoped it wasn’t from fear. Please, don’t let it be from fucking fear.

“Next time, I’ll catch you,” I whispered in her ear. I blew against her ear, and she shivered. I resisted the urge to kiss her on the neck, instead, moving back slightly, I smirked at her again. She blushed again and I tried not to grin too wide at how I was affecting her. If only she knew what she did to me.

As she turned away something on her arm sparkled in the light. I frowned slightly and focused my eyes on her arm. And then I saw them all. Loads and loads of well placed, glittering little scars over her arm. I reached out and gently took hold of her and as she turned back to me, her face grew pale. I ran my fingers over the hundreds of pretty little patterns that decorated her arms. A decoration of hurt. What the fuck had happened to her? Did she do this? Or did someone else do this? I tried to control my emotions as visions of someone else hurting this angel went through my head.

“What happened to you Bella?” I whispered, afraid that if I tried to speak properly I would yell to the world in desperate pain. Pain that came from Bella, that she had lived through this torture. Bella didn’t look at me, so I lifted her chin so that I could see her eyes. The pain behind them was clear. The mask she put on was down and she had bared her soul. These cuts were a part of her. They told a story and fuck me if I wasn’t going to find out what that story was.

“Bella, who the fuck did this to you?” I said through clenched teeth, my anger at this horror still simmering at full heat beneath the surface. Bella looked frightened once again at my questioning. She wrenched her arm from mine and backed away, once again hiding beneath her dark shield of terror.

“I did this to me,” she said. My mind stopped and it was hard to even comprehend the figure in front of me. I looked at her in shock and the pain in her eyes brought me back to the surface. What had made her do this? “Don’t tell a soul,” she pleaded desperately, before turning and running back to her room. Stunned beyond comprehension, I staggered into the bathroom and sat on the floor.

Bella, self harmed? Bella? Self-fucking-harmed? Why would she do this? What could have driven her to this? She needed help. But how the hell could she get help? I couldn’t tell anyone. Not after seeing her break to pieces in front of me when she asked me not to tell. She had broken down when I saw them. She didn’t want anyone to know, and how could I refuse her? I would keep her secret and I would fucking save Bella Swan. I would make her better. I would make her smile again. This girl had changed me. I wanted to help her. I wanted her to smile at me. I wanted everything to do with her. Bella fucking Swan was my life now. She was everything to me. She was different and in so much pain. No one, ever, should be so hurt. Bella Swan needed me, and I would be there until she told me to go. Because, I tell you what, I liked Bella Swan; I liked her way more than I should and I would do anything to make her happy.

I stood up, my resolve strong and showered quickly, desperate to reassure the angel that had been brought to me. When I stepped out I noticed she had left her things behind. I shrugged and wrapped my towel around my hips. I picked up her stuff and made my way along to her room. Of course, Alice had already ambushed her. My dear sister opened the door, looking me up and down and sneered in disgust. I saw Bella turn around and I swear she stopped breathing. Of course, she blushed and swung her head around faster than I believed possible.

“Bella left her stuff in the bathroom.” I handed the stuff to Alice and noticed that Bella had turned around again and was openly admiring me. I smirked and Alice glared at me before slamming the door in my face. I chuckled softly and walked to my room, thankfully managing to miss my usual morning attack from Lauren. For the first time in a while I thought about what I would wear. Ten minutes later I was struggling and I was tempted to call on Alice. As soon as that thought went through my mind I quickly just threw on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. Wanting help from Alice was like asking for free torture. I stood by my door and listened. Then, 20 minutes later I heard Bella and Alice walk down the stairs. I followed closely behind and then the inevitable happened. As she was walking into the dining room, Bella caught her foot on something and began to fall. I ran forward and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her against me.

“Told you I would catch you,” I whispered to her. I helped her stand up, but I couldn’t release her. I kept my arms around her, spreading my fingers across her stomach and relishing in the feel of holding her.

“How often exactly do you fall?”I whispered to her, leaning my head forward so I could speak into her ear.

“A lot,” she admitted and I tried not to laugh.

“Sounds like I’m going to have my work cut out for me.” When I finished speaking I couldn’t help but keep my lips against her soft skin. I smiled against it and she laughed quietly. All of a sudden she broke away from me and slithered across the room to Alice, head down, hair across her face. I frowned at Alice who just shrugged and made a half-hearted gesture to everyone else. Then I realized. They were all watching. Emmett and Jasper were shocked and staring at me in disbelief. I felt Carlisle and Esme’s reproving frowns on my back and I turned to them and tried not to glare too much. Did they actually think I would fucking hurt her? If so, they were sadly mistaken. I turned back around to see Bella struggling with the coffee machine and somehow I managed to get across the room without running like a lunatic to help her.

“Let me,” I said when I was a step behind her. I took the mug from her grasp and worked it quickly. I glanced sideways at Bella who was blushing again. Does she ever not though? Looking at her just heightened all my feelings for her. I noticed her long sleeves and it brought back my previous decision.

“I won’t tell,” I said quietly. I saw her eyes widen but she refused to look at me.

“Thank you,” she whispered. I didn’t want to badger her so I kept quiet. Once I’d finished I began to move away but then something popped into my head. Christ, why didn’t I think of it sooner?

“Would you like to sit next to me?” She nodded and turned to me, smiling widely. Her eyes were fucking sparkling. Well fuck me. I, Edward Cullen, had made Isabella Swan smile. I smiled back at her, a genuine smile, one of the only a few genuine smiles in the past couple of years. Unable to keep my hands off her, I put my hand on the small of my back and led her to our part of the table.

“So, Bella, I see you’ve been ‘Aliced’,” Jasper said while Emmett laughed loudly. Christ, it was like a fucking earthquake when he shook like that.

“Poor you!” Emmett, rather stupidly, said. Two seconds later, the slam of a plate indicated Alice’s arrival.

“I’m not that bad. And she enjoyed it, didn’t you, Bella?” Alice pouted at Bella and Bella seemed to be struggling not to laugh.

“Sure I enjoyed it, Alice.” I burst into laughter at the fakeness of her words and everyone else joined in. I handed Bella some toast and watched her as she ate. Everything she did was beautiful. I gazed at her in wonder and when she abruptly stopped eating, I frowned. My eyes narrowed when I saw her glance across the table then look back down, hiding her face with her hair. I looked up and saw Lauren sitting smugly. She winked at me and I tried not to gag. I instead leaned in to Bella.

“Bella, please don’t hide,” I told her. I brushed her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. She looked up at me, trying to tell me her story through her eyes. But the only thing I saw was loss. And fucking hell, she would never lose me. I was here for eternity, if she’d have me. I finally had something to live for.

I saw her tell me how scared she was. That she was broken. But it didn’t matter to me. I still couldn’t leave. I didn’t want to.

“I’m not going anywhere Bella,” I told her. I brought my hand back up and brushed my fingers gently along her cheek. Fuck. Bad idea. Now that I had touched her again I didn’t want to stop. My heart was beating faster and faster, and it took everything I had not to just kiss her right then and there. She inhaled sharply when I touched her and I couldn’t break away from our intense stare. We were slowly getting closer and closer. I couldn’t think of anything else, except the sweet smell of her. Her eyes were wide and her breathing was shallow.

Then, someone’s chair scraped across the floor. I jumped slightly and the intense emotions I had been feeling ended as I turned to see Lauren glaring at us both. Jessica and Mike stood up too and they walked out, but not before Mike winked at Bella. I glared at him, my hands clenching at my sides. He was a sick fucking pervert and he’d never get near enough to touch Bella if I had any say in the matter. When I looked around again everyone was still staring at us and there was an awkward silence until Esme spoke up.

“Bella, are you ready to go, dear?” Bella nodded and stood up immediately and my heart twisted slightly as she moved away. Alice had also jumped up and was dragging Bella to the door. I half rose out of my seat to help her but sat back down. Alice wouldn’t hurt her. When Bella got to the door she turned back around.

“Help?”And that one little word had me in stitches again. Bella really was the most extraordinary person I had ever met.

“So, Edward?” I was knocked out of my daydream by Jasper, smirking at me.

“You like her! You want to hug her! You want to kiss her!” Emmett sang as he started dancing like some giant bear around the kitchen.

“Emmett, shut up before I hit you,” I said through clenched teeth. Emmett just laughed while Jasper looked at me thoughtfully.

“You really like her don’t you?” he asked, hitting the nail right on the head, as usual. I sighed.

“Yes I do.”

“You know, the heat from you two...wow.” I smirked at Jasper’s words. It was pretty amazing. I thought of the way we had looked at each other. It was like no one was there but her. She was my life.

“You’re doing it again, Edward.” I looked at Jasper, confused.

“Doing what?”

“The whole dreaming of Bella thing. Looking away into the distance.”

“Getting gooey eyes.”

“Bella! My love!”

“Oh for goodness sake! Grow up!” Rosalie stood up and stormed out of the room.

“Emmett, for fuck’s sake, what’s wrong with her? Why does she hate Bella?” How someone could hate her was beyond me.

“She’s just struggling with how Bella was accepted so easily by you. It took her months until you would even say hi to her.” I cringed at the memory. Rosalie and I had not gotten along well back then.

“I’ll go talk to her about it.” This was not a conversation I wanted to be involved in. I stood up, ignoring the whistles from Jasper and Emmett. Dickheads. I went quickly to Rose’s room, wanting to clear the air as soon as possible. I knocked on her door and Rose said to come in.

“Oh. It’s you.” She lay back down on her bed, ignoring me.

“Rose, I want to apologise.” She didn’t say anything. “When you arrived here I was horrible and I am really sorry for it. I know that me accepting Bella so quickly hurts you and I’m sorry. But please don’t hate Bella because of that, hate me.”

“Bella, Bella, Bella. Is that all it’s going to be from now on?”

“Rose, it’s like with you and Emmett. Once someone like that comes into your life, you can’t let them go. She’s amazing Rose, she’s so different and so unbelievably special. She’s had a hard life and I will do anything to keep her from getting hurt. You’ve seen yourself how scared she gets sometimes. I need to help her- or at least try. Please believe me, Rose. I don’t like hurting you, you’re like my sister! But I need to help Bella and if that means asking you to stay away from her, then I will. Please just give her a chance, Rose. You’d love her.” She sat up and looked at me. We stared at each other for what felt like hours and Rose eventually backed down.

“Fine. I’m sorry, Edward. I know how special she is to you. I can see it when you look at her. I’ll give her a chance. I know what it’s like to have a hard life then have someone hating you from the moment you think your life got better.”

“You don’t know how sorry I am for behaving like that when you came here.” I walked over to her and hugged her.

“I’m sorry too. Maybe I’ll save Bella from Alice!” I released her and laughed. I sat on the floor and we were silent for a while. It was comfortable though. Rose and Bella would get along well. They’d both had a hard life and would be good for each other.

Soon after, Jasper and Emmett ran into the room and I quickly tuned out the make out session on the bed and Jasper’s long winded reasons of why Alice was amazing. Carlisle brought us lunch in the room, thankfully, and I was able to avoid Lauren for longer. After this morning I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t start yelling at her. What had she done to Bella?

“Edward? Edward? EDWARD!” I jumped out of daze and looked around. Rosalie was shaking her head at me.

“Could you please go get some drinks? You haven’t moved from there all day.” I frowned.

“What time is it?”

“It’s about half past three.” Wow, time really had flown today. I stood up and went down quickly to the kitchen. I met Esme in the hallway on the way back and that’s how I knew she was back. I ran up the stairs and I started grinning like a fucking asshole when I saw her standing in the doorway to Rosalie’s room.

“Bella!” She turned around and when she saw me moved out of the way. I dumped the cans on the bed and nodded my head to get her to come after me. She sat down next to me and I don’t know what the hell came over me. I reached out and pulled her onto my lap. Fuck. I was as shocked as she was.

“It’s more comfy,” I quickly said, hoping she wouldn’t think I was too forward. Fuck Edward, ruin it when nothing has even started. She was stiff for a moment but then she leaned her head on my shoulder and I swear she started smelling me. I smiled at the thought of her doing the same as did. I lifted my hands up and ran them through her hair. I was completely absorbed in her, so much so, that I did not notice the fact that the others were talking about us. Hours later it seemed Bella jumped up suddenly. I think I heard her say, ‘toilet’, before she was out the room. Jasper wolf whistled at me and I rolled my eyes.

“Edward, she’s so into you. Did you see her? She was almost asleep on you!” Alice was squealing in the corner and I tried not to laugh. Inside, I was hoping that Alice was right. I wanted Bella to like me.

“And anyway, we were talking about you today. She said she likes you.” Now that made me sit up.

“Really?” My eyes were wide and I was across the room next to Alice in a second. Emmett burst out laughing.

“That’s the fastest I’ve ever seen you move!” he exclaimed. I glared at him and turned back to Alice but then the sound came. It was high pitched and painful. And so ‘Bella’.

“Bella,” I whispered before sprinting out of the room. Bella was against the wall, Mike across from her, and she was screaming. When she stopped she looked around, but seemed terrified at what she saw. I looked at her and walked forward but she shrank back. I couldn’t stop the hurt that spread through my body. She thought I would hurt her? She ran past me and into her room. I started shaking with anger and my vision turned red with anger. What did he do? I turned to Mike and yelled at him.

“What the fuck did you do to her?” I was angrier than I’d ever been. I was struggling to keep my fists to myself. I repeated myself as I began walking towards him. He backed off slightly.

“JUST FUCKING TELL ME!”

“I...kissed her.” And then I broke. I started punching every inch of him that I could see. I wanted to make him pay. The fucking bastard. What the fuck was he thinking? Did he know how fucking scared she was of him?

“Edward! Edward!” Jasper and Emmett grabbed hold of me and pulled me off of Mike, who was now covered in so much blood that I didn’t know where it was coming from. I fought against them but they held me.

“Edward, Bella needs you now.” Bella. Bella! FUCK! She was going to cut herself. I fucking knew it. I ran into her room, slamming the door closed behind me. I was right. She had fucking blood running, no not running, fucking flowing from her arm. It ran down the pale skin and began dripping onto the floor. It made red swirls against the pale skin of her arm. Through the screen of redness I saw something dark purple and yellow; bruises. They decorated her body just as much as the scars decorated her arms. I walked towards her slowly, my heart breaking with every step. My eyes were fixed on the blood, always, trailing from the cut.

As I walked forwards, Bella moved backward slightly but she didn’t get very far.

“Drop the knife please, Bella.” I grasped her hand with the knife in it and just stared into her eyes, trying to convey how much I cared about her, that she didn’t need to do this. She gasped but dropped the knife. She seemed to fall over but I caught her and I took her top from the bed and quickly wiped the blood from her arm and held the top against the cut to stop the never-ending stream of blood. I kept looking at her, and I saw the terror that was still present in her eyes. Mike would fucking pay for this.

“Bella, I’m here. You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you.” They’d have to get past me, and from now on, Bella wasn’t getting out of my fucking sight.

Then she seemed to start to struggle. Her eyes kept flickering and you could see the pain dancing in them. Her face would crease in pain every couple of seconds and she was starting to shake very slightly in my arms.

“Edward?” Her voice was hoarse and fuck, it shot right down my spine.

“What?” Whatever she said, I would make it better. When she didn’t answer me I asked again.

“What is it, Bella?”I whispered.

“Edward.” She started groaning and her face crinkled in pain, her mouth forming a grimace that was both heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.

“EDWARD!” she yelled and then her head fell backwards in my arms, her eyes closed and her body limp in my arms.

“Bella? Bella?” Oh fuck, what’s happened? Has she just fucking fainted? My brain started panicking. I tied the top around her arm to try and stop the bleeding. I laid her on the bed and put a jumper on over her head. I looked down at my blood stained hands, luckily the blood didn’t show up much on my black t-shirt but my hands were dark. I wiped them on my top and kicked the knife under the bed as an afterthought and moved a rug over the red stains on the carpet. I breathed a sigh of relief at my quick thinking.
“Carlisle! QUICK!” My voice broke and now my own terror at losing her broke to the surface. He ran into the room, evidently having been waiting on the other side of the door.

“I think she fainted again. Can you make sure she’s okay? Please! Bella?” I took her hand and crouched down at the side of the bed and stared at her blank face.

“Edward, once again, go and get me a cloth or something else that’s cold. Before you go, did she bump her head on anything when she fainted?”

“No, I caught her.” He looked at me, an unfathomable expression on his face. I ignored it and ran out of the room and into the bathroom just down the hall. I tossed it to Carlisle and took my position beside her again. He placed it against her forehead and began checking to make sure her airways were clear. He tapped her face slightly and Bella stirred.

“Bella!” Her eyes slowly opened again and they searched around the room. They found me and an unspeakable question filled her mouth.

“Do they...do they...?” I knew what she wanted answered. I leant forward and whispered in her ear.

“No they don’t know.” And the fucking relief on her face made me elated inside. I knew I should tell someone, but to see her so happy and pleased, I couldn’t take that away.

“Edward, Esme and I would like to have a word alone with Bella. Could you please go get Esme?” I didn’t move but looked at Bella. She was now holding onto my hand for dear life, terrified to let go. That made my resolve sound. I was not moving.

“Edward, now.” Carlisle’s stern voice countered my own and I glared up at him.

“I’m not leaving her.”

“Edward, you are already in enough trouble, do not get in anymore.” Ah yes, Mike. Well he can go fuck himself. He deserved whatever shit he got.

“Edward, leave NOW!” Bella looked desperately at me but I pried my fingers from hers and walked to the door, not taking my eyes off her once. She was now visibly shaking. I walked out the door, meeting an army of people.

“Esme, Carlisle wants you to go in.” I pointed to the room and then sank down onto the floor outside her room. I would be in there if I heard so much as one fucking cry.

“What happened, Edward?” Alice knelt down beside me and placed a hand over mine.

“She was in hysterics because of him. And then she fainted. That’s why she screamed my name. She was screaming in pain. And I couldn’t do anything.” My voice broke again and I brought my hand from Alice and punched the floor, wishing it was Mike’s fucking face. Alice wrapped her tiny body around me and I held onto to her for dear life. My body started shaking with dry sobs, sobs I didn’t even know where they came from. Fuck, I was really embarrassing myself here.

“Mike’s in a pretty bad state. Carlisle was fixing him up when we heard Bella scream your name. So he ran back up here,” Emmett told me. I didn’t want to know about fucking Mike. He was a dickhead and if he ever came near Bella again I would fucking kill him.

“I hope he fucking dies.” Alice leaned back and looked at me, her eyebrows raised. She didn’t fucking believe me. “Alice, for fuck’s sake did you hear what he did to her? He fucking sexually assaulted her!” She sighed and smiled sympathetically at me before leaving me to my anger. But then I heard her. Bella was sobbing.

“No, please! Where’s Edward?” And then Carlisle’s voice spoke to her.

“You can speak to him in a minute. Now can you please tell me what happened?”

“Edward, please.” I could imagine her shaking, holding her hands in her head. She fucking needed me and that dickhead wasn’t going to let me see her, even after he had spoken to her. It was doctors like him that made Bella feel so fucking terrified and alone. I stood up.

“Edward, you shouldn’t go in there.” Alice looked up at me, tiny when I was standing.

“Alice, they’re not going to let me fucking see her. And she needs me! You can hear her crying! Because I’m not there! She is everything to me, and I will not let some motherfucker who thinks he knows everything mess with her when I know I could do something.” I heard another louder sob come from Bella’s room and was in there immediately.

“Bella!” She looked up, her pale cheeks streaked with tears and she stared at me as if she was imagining me, as if I was a ghost.

“Edward?” I ignored Carlisle and Esme’s orders not to go near her and made my way to her until I was sitting next to her on the bed.

“Edward!” She suddenly assessed that it was actually me and then to my surprise, she threw her arms around my neck and began sobbing into my neck.

“Edward! They were everywhere. Everywhere I looked. They were there. And then my head. It got so sore. And you were there and you made it better, but then it all went black and I could still see them. They follow me Edward, they’re everywhere.” She sobbed non-stop into my t-shirt and I wrapped my arms around and laid us down on the bed.

“Shhhh Bella, it’s okay.” I rubbed her back soothingly and she began to still.

They won’t hurt you. I won’t let anyone else hurt you, ever Bella. You’re safe. Shhhh.” I repeated this mantra over and over until she was quiet. By then I noticed that Carlisle and Esme had left the room. Good. I continued rubbing her back and listened as she gradually fell into a deep sleep. I stayed with her; I couldn’t bear to leave her. What if she woke up screaming? I would stay here and I would save her from her demons. I buried my face in Bella’s strawberry smelling hair and soon I too was deep asleep.


A/N: Thank you to my beta’s thedarknessofthemoon, Primrose Hill and Veespa. Thank you for reading. Please leave a review!